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(12-12-26 08:57)

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1281.    我和雷彤比较宅,几乎每天过着研究所和住处两点一线的生活。我们只一起去过一次夫子庙,周末不加班的话,我们两个常常去住处不远的图书馆里看书。我很喜欢南京市图书馆,馆外高大宏伟,馆内宽敞明亮,在一排排书架里漫步穿梭,烦躁慌乱的内心渐渐平静舒缓。只因为这一所图书馆,就让我相信南京是一座文化气息浓厚的城市。
 
1282.    德国人对科研的态度一丝不苟,那个博士每周一召集我们开例会,讨论他课题的方方面面。他始终不明白,在中国,每个研究生和博士的课题是要靠自己独立完成的,这里不讲团队合作。或者,这个外国留学生在中国得到太多的优惠政策,他以为我们都应该并且乐意为他效劳。总之,课题组的同学不怎么待见他,不知道是因为文化差异,还是因为中国导师的面子问题导致外国留学生在中国滋生出令人反感的优越感。
 
1283.    我跟德国博士同一个办公室,有一次他拜托我帮他看一封教务处发来的邮件,一串字母,看上去像英语,拼了一下读不懂,仔细一看,居然是拼音。当时我真是满脸黑线,给不懂汉语的老外发拼音,他就能看得懂吗?还有一次,他电脑崩溃,买了一张系统盘,因为看不懂中文提示,拜托我帮他。可是因为我的英语很一般,跟他交流起来很吃力,最终还是没能帮到他。
 
1284.    有一次一个师姐跑过来通知他去教务处领奖学金,英语汉语加上手势,比划了半天他还是一脸迷茫。师姐留下一句:你这个大笨蛋,就走了。我在办公室里乐了半天。留学生在异域国家读书是一件痛并快乐的体验吧,就像你在中国给自己起个英文名叫Astroboy(阿童木),你觉得很酷,可有个老外给自己起个中国名叫葫芦娃,你就会觉得他很二……
 
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1286.    3月底,潇同学的考研成绩和我的六级成绩都要出来,我叮嘱潇同学及时查询。上午接到潇同学的电话,他说我的六级过了,大喜,问他那我每项考多少啊,他停顿了一下,然后报出了各项分数和总分。我听完大怒,各项加起来明明跟总分不符。其实我考了420分,他想安慰我才说我过了,可是他很傻,说谎前都不知道做好准备。知道了六级成绩,我一天都很郁闷,直到晚上又接到他的电话,他考研成绩出来了,进了面试。当时的想法是:他能顺利考上研究生,我的六级一辈子都过不了,那也情愿。
 
1287.    潇同学准备来南京面试,我要提前搞清楚去南大的路线,以及学校周边的环境。南大离所里不远,下了班,一个人听着歌闲逛着十几分钟就到了。南京是一座四季分明的城市,三月下旬已是微风和煦,北京东路上的樱花开得绚烂,此时MP3里传来一首钢琴曲,音色宛如不断飘落的花瓣,风铃像风的感动。很空灵的音乐,音调没有大的起伏,至始至终都像丝绸一样感觉,平滑、柔顺。就像路边静静开放的粉嘟嘟的花朵儿,让我的心情像湖水一样平静,无悲无喜。
 
 
1288.    面试前一天潇逸来到南京,那个时候他还没有选定导师。之前他联系了于老师,我看过校园网上于老师的个人主页,黑白的照片透露出浓厚的文艺书生气,网页上最醒目的地方显示的是他写的诗。可惜于老师回信说他马上要调走,不再招研究生,但是他一直很关心潇同学,给他邮寄试卷,成绩出来第一时间发短信询问他的考分。他短信的结尾喜欢加上字符的笑脸:),给人很治愈的感觉,从此之后,我也很喜欢用字符表示心情。
 
1289.    于老师约潇逸在校门口茶餐厅喝茶,我一个人坐在南大物理楼前的长椅上等待。物理楼前的玉兰花还在开,就像我内心不灭的期待。等他们聊完,天都黑了。我问潇同学他们都谈了什么,他说于老师问他为什么想来南京读书,他回答是为了他的女朋友。我听了之后很感动,谢谢他敢在他尊敬和爱戴的人面前自豪地谈起我,因为那个时候的我,还没有这个勇气。
 
1290.    潇同学面试那天我还在实验室很忙地做实验,下了班去找他,带他去逛夫子庙。他一副很颓废的样子,我知道他心情不太好。他的成绩中等偏下,能不能顺利录取,不到最后一刻,我们都放心不下。接下来等待结果的两天,我都没有时间陪他,他一个人跑去图书馆看书。对于我们两个来说,看书都是平静内心最好的方式。
 
1291.    两天后接到电话,他被录取了,导师也确定了,两颗悬着的心才放了下来。恰好遇到清明节,所里放三天假,我妈一遍遍叮嘱我带潇同学回家。我很早就跟他提起,去我们家的话,我爸肯定要测试他的酒量。准备考研的那段时间,他在桌子上放了一瓶白酒,每天中午喝两口,说是练酒量。我们回去的第一天,我爸大摆筵席,潇同学挨个敬了爷爷奶奶叔叔婶婶表哥表弟一杯白酒之后,还是很逊地趴下了。
 
1292.    宿醉后的第二天,老妈又摆筵席,潇同学挨个敬了外婆舅舅舅妈堂弟堂妹一杯白酒,这次他没有倒下,只是有点站不稳而已。又是宿醉后的第三天,我们准备回南京。他第一次来我们家,得到了全家族的认可,特别是我妈和我外婆很喜欢他。在南京的那一周是他迄今为止最辉煌的时刻,人生得意须尽欢,爱情事业双丰收。
 
1293.    回到南京的当天,他又要坐火车回重庆。我去火车站送他,两个人坐在火车站前的玄武湖边等车进站,静望湖水,默默无言。过了一会他突然起身离开,很久都不见他的踪影。回来的时候他递给我一杯奶茶,嘱咐我天快要黑了,早点回去吧,然后头也不回地检票进站。我握着那杯奶茶坐在公交车上,收到他的短信,他说不愿在车站跟我道别,怕我看到他伤心的泪水。分开后的这么多年,我就真的再也没去车站送过他,但是每次他回来,不管天气多坏,时间多晚,我都会去接他。
 
1294.    潇同学走之后,所里的实验也清闲了下来。春季开学伊始,导师们忙着申请课题,雷彤是我们跟着的导师的准研究生,那个导师经常带着她出差和加班,我自己独处的时间多了起来。我常常早餐的时候多买两个窝头,闲下来的时候坐在办公室里边看电影边把窝头揪成米粒大小的碎屑。下了班之后,拿着这些馒头去喂实验楼下池塘里的金鱼,看着它们游到水面上争先恐后地争食,内心有种被需要的开心。这些鱼儿跟我很亲近,它们不知道其实我不属于这里,不会让我有矮人一头,寄人篱下的感觉。
 
1295.    除此之外,同办公室里的小强师兄对我也很友好,但是他很忙,总是在忙着做实验或者看文献。有时候看我一整天一个人待在办公室,他忙完了就在办公室陪我说说话,在那段闲到恐慌的日子里,他带给了我一些欢乐。
 
1296.    导师也不是完全忘记了我的存在,有一天下了班,他带我和雷彤去酒吧喝酒,那个酒吧很高档,出来进去都是一些外国人和表面看得出的有钱人。穿着时尚的美女们来这里跟陌生人喝酒跳舞,一曲舞终,拿起精致的包包,微笑着和老外离开。导师说,这类人有个名字叫“午夜流莺”。其实清闲下来我容易生病,那天晚上我身体很不舒服,发着低烧,头晕目眩。陪导师喝了一满扎啤酒,喝到凌晨两点半。那天之后,我很久又没见到他人,他很忙,雷彤也很忙,只有我是清闲的。
 
1297.    于是决定回学校了,跟所里的师兄师姐告别,小强师兄劝我再多待几天,他五一有空,可以陪我在南京逛逛。于是五一三天,他骑自行车带我去医院打针,爬紫金山,逛雨花台……我们一起去玩的时候拍了很多照片,留下了那段时间我努力向上,却总被人歧视,孤独痛苦中也还有些许快乐的时光。
 
1298.    我走的时候,在办公室里留一箱特仑苏给小强师兄,是清明回家的时候老妈硬塞给我的。我不爱喝牛奶,广告上说“不是每滴牛奶都叫特仑苏”,可他忘了也不是每个人都爱喝特仑苏。
 
1299.    要走的那天小强师兄来送我,我的东西很多,收拾出了大大小小七个包,除非我有三头六臂,不然无论如何也拿不下这些包。小强师兄一路把我送到火车站,又跟着我混进站台,帮我把包拿到卧铺车厢,一直等到火车开了他才离开。我很感激,发了一条短信给他,说谢谢大哥。他回:终于喊了一声哥,可惜没有当面听到。
 
1300.    火车开了33个小时,到达重庆的时候是凌晨3点,比时刻表提前了半个小时。还担心潇同学会迟到,刚下车,就看到他在站台上等我。因为担心迟到,他一夜没睡,一点钟的时候跟同学打完牌,直接从学校步行到了火车站。这趟旅行,有人送,有人接,已经是最大的幸福。

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